sianz lo

他妈的，
花了半个小时都还没学好一个intro,
这是什么世界?

我看迟早我一定垮，
只是不知道几时而已。

我现在只想说，
STEPS 太难了!!!
一个人学5个人的东西真的很累!!!!

T___T

-untitled 2-

everyone is stress out,
dont look at me,
im not stress, trust me...
final exam only maaa..
is not like i've never done it before,
just that i never receive the appreciation that i'm hoping to have.
yeah, im too demanding.

(told ya! be selfish and quit the damn thing, y make life so difficult?)

damn u,
im doing it because i like it,
but look at the current state of the group,
my prediction for the result,
is that we gonna fail terribly based on the current AGAIN.

(seeeee.. y bother doing it if u know u gonna fail? silly u.)

im trying my best for everything,
but some things are just out of my control,
i can't expect everyone to put aside all their matters
and continue this damn thing with me right?

(and y do u still wanna be a fool to put aside yr study for this "sure lose" competition?)

...


(see! u cant answer right? u cant even freaking answer yr exam papers question and u want to go for dance competition. u moron!)


...

(and y are u keeping quiet? keeping quiet wont solve the matter stupid u)

scolding wont solve..

(go and study and stop wasting time on those things tat u forever cant achieve ok? dont dream!)

but..

(but WAD? thinking and wanting to win/get something will never get u to success unless u really work hard for it, just look at u guys now, u tink u can get it? too early to dream bout it. wake up la..)

...
...
...
...
...

-untitled-

i've no other ways to express how frustrated i am,
everything is at the verge of falling apart,
guess this is fate.

i'm not sure if i can make it on 24th,
but i certainly do not want to dissapoint them.
I myself are desperate for that stage as well,
i'm dying for the stage.

but i just have no idea why everything end in this way,
everything seems to be so...

maybe dancing is not my thing..

failed terribly for sunday's competition.
i feel bad cuz i've been pushing the members to do tis in few days time.
they are not prepared,
so do I.
we ended up getting hurt,
losing confidence.

sometimes i wonder,
maybe dancing is just not my thing.

when i look at other groups, they been doing so well,
then i realize,
their leader for the group are all very good,
maybe some will have some bad attitude,
but the best dancer in the team wud be the leader.

when i look at my team,
the leader is....
no wonder the team never improve much..
i made bad decision,
i choreo shit moves,
i dun even dance like a dancer..

i just feel bad,
i didnt do a good job as a leader,
or even as a dancer...

maybe i should consider asking someone to take over my position..
i'm dissapointed at myself..
just dont feel like further dragging the team down to the mud..
they deserve better future..

i wonder,
maybe dancing is just not my thing...

烦死了

烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了

虽然明知不会赢，还是很烦。

再想想，
如果队长没用，
即使队员多好也没用。

所以，
队长姐姐，
请你冷静一点，
解决问题才是最重要的事情，
一直嚷着烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了烦死了干嘛...

*深呼吸*

天掉下来我也得扛。

记得告诉过某J队长， “淡定有钱剩”
看来自己已经忘记了。

船到桥头自然直，对吧?

空虚

最近心里不平衡，
疯狂追寻机会，
虽然明知不可能，
也拼命的追。

怀疑自己有精神分裂，
有时太冷静、理智，
有时却很疯狂、失控...

可能潜意识知道剩下的时间不多，
或者说，
我根本没有时间了，
所以才歇斯底里的，
让思绪疯狂。

短暂的疯狂，
回到现实，
理智呼唤我那失控的情绪...

即使情绪受控，
也无法控制那空虚的心灵...

只怕以后的我，
要永远过着一个空虚的生活，
没有灵魂，
没有梦想...

或者说，
现在已经是了......

accepted

有点不敢想象，
自己竟然被选中，
虽然听说很多人也被选中，
说明自己并没那么特别，
还是很开心，
只是，
没钱进他们的训练班而已。

其实也没什么特别，
那只是一个学院，
并不是什么有名公司，
也不能保证你的前途，
训练也只是一个月而已
可是，
即使只是一个月，
我也希望往后的日子有着这一个月的美好回忆。

我有自知之明，
并不是那站在舞台上的料，
梦啊~

还是要有清醒的时候。