letter to...

dear pretty boy,

you probably have no idea how much you upset my life,
but hey,
it actually has got nothing to do with you,
just that you remind me of him.

which part of you remind me of him?
the same flirty words coming from y'all..

the difference between y'all?
you are a free man but he's not..

i must admit,
hmmm.. you're relly sweet..
and you're relly nice..

but hey,
I don't play with fire,
coz I will end up burning myself,
it hurts,
alot..

you probably wonder why i keep pushing you to other gals,
you're just too dangerous,
just like him.

you probably wonder why am i running away from you,
you're just too different,
different from him.

pretty boy,
i enjoy talking to you and the time with you,
but i can't seem to remember who am i talking to.

pretty boy,
i just hope someday i can get over everything,
and just be normal a bit whenever im with you.

pretty boy,
no one knows when will it be,
and perhaps its time for you to forget bout me.

hey pretty boy,
please forgive me coz i dont know wad to do,

it might not because of you,
but another.

sorry,
and goodbye.

random joke

1 So many people die, never see you die.
甘多人死，唔見你死。
2 You teach me how to come out and walk in the future?
你教我以後點出嚟行?
3 If you have enough ginger, put your horse to me.
如果你夠姜既話就放馬過嚟。
4 "I saw a pork chop"
我見到件豬扒啊。
5 Are you road?
你係咪路啊？
6 What the water are you?
你係乜水啊？
7 Do you big me?
你大我啊？
8 Zebra chops people.
班馬劈友。
9 The king of the cutting girl.
界女王。
10 Cut my head and let you sit on it as a chair.
批我個頭俾你當凳坐。
11 Do you think me didn't arrive?
你當我無到？
12 You have seed, I will give you some colour to see, brothers, together up.
你有種，我會俾D顏色你睇，兄弟，同我一齊上！
13 Today I was very black son.
今日我好黑仔。
14 I am wearing grass.
我著緊草。
16 Two beat six.
二打六
17 Two five son.
二五仔
18 Piano piano green.
琴琴青
19 I give you some colour to see see.
我俾D顏色你睇睇！
20 Stupid stupid want to move .
蠢蠢欲動。
21 People mountain people sea .
人山人海。
22 How senior are you?
你算老幾?
23 What the ghost are you talk?
你講乜鬼?
24 I fear that you have teeth.
我驚你有牙！
25 Heart flower angry open.
心花怒放。
26 Fish skin
魚皮。
27 Monster of blowing water.
吹水怪。
18 Face green green
面青青。
29 You see road carefully
你小心睇路
30 You go to street carefully
你出街小心D。
31 Do the world
做世界。
32 Big tea rice
大茶飯。
33 American chinese not enough.
美中不足。
34 King eight egg.
王八蛋
35 High hand.
高手
36 DO YOU Old dot ME?
你老點我呀?
37 One old water
一舊水
38 I know your mouse.
我識你老鼠！
39 Measure water/Pound water.
磅水
40 A dragon service.
一條龍服務
41 Pump water.?
抽水
42 I blow chicken to beat your group of the guys.
我吹雞打你班友。
43 You jump building.
你跳樓啦。
44 You come back home and eat banana
你返屋企食蕉啦
45 I give you a hair.
我俾條毛你ar!
46 Collect skin
收皮
47 Collect father
收爹
48 You give me collect father.
你同我收爹！
49 Laugh die me.
笑死我。
50 You give me stop.
你同我企系度。
51 Eight woman
八婆
52 Eight woman,you are good!
八婆，你好o野!

dance

i guess u guys just dont know me tat much even after so many years of friendship.
dance, stage, spotlights, cheer..
all these things mean much more than anything else to me.

---rant omitted----

i dun wanna blog about how frust I am towards u guys,
im here to tell u im upset,
im dissapointed,
im not happy,
im stress,

and u know wad?

u guys contribute substantially.

im not blaming u,
is my own problem perhaps.

emo

--POST DELETED--

freaking busy and freaking stress

yes, i dunno y am i blogging here when i was relly relly busy.

*rant*

last whole week was busy doing that whole god damn research thingy which relly drive me to insanity. wtf, a 2500 words essay is not tat easy to write.
what kid of legal research is that?? GOD..
the problem is not that 2500 words is alot, but is too LITTLE.
my goodness.
my first draft came out to be 4000++ words, if i relly pass this up it will definitely be a suicide attempt. univeristy of london will fail me retrospectively and prospectively. (quoting my lecturer mr amerjit)
i wasted like sooooooooooo many hours sitting in front of the computer just to edit, edit, edit and freaking edit the essay again. fuck!
i sat in front of the pc for the one whole week, from morning 9am until another morning 3am. which is CRAZY.
my eye soar thru out the whole week. damn u research essay.
if the uni relly fail me for my essay imma jump off from the building.
i read alot of articles in order to create that piece of essay, so plssss for god sake dont fail me...!
imagine one article of mine consist of 78 pages, and i read more than 5 articles.
pity my eyeball.

*rant*

i relly beh tahan, thru out the whole week been dreaming that either i fail the research paper, or that i cant finish the research paper, or that i have finished the paper but end up no time for my studies, or that i fail my other subject.

damn

im freaking stress.

and now revision class starts, i have no time for myself
there are so much to read but so little time.
im relly relly worry that i cant get thru the exam and freaking get a 2-1 for myself to save my life.

geezzz.. i just wanna slap myself.
probably no one gonna understand wtf im writting here.

and u know what, my only enjoyment become not my enjoyment anymore.
my revision timetable freaking used up all my dancing time which make me cannot go practice for 2months.
damn u ATC.

the amount of student in revision class + the revision table + exam stress + legal research stress + jae-ness stress + ......

all this stress relly make me suffocate, i can hardly breathe.
atc, why u put so many ppl in one class?
u crazy ka?
the classroom is so freaking small and u put 160 ppl inside?
the whole building gonna collapse soon when u put 700++ in the building at the same time.
even the freaking car park oso full all the time and i have to queue for half an hour just to PAY the freaking car park fee.

everything is just crazy!!!@$@
GAHHHHHHH!!@#@$@

*rant*

and those retarded gang tat sit behind tat still freaking talk shit bout me.
u all shud go and fly kite,
and freaking get a life for yrself pls.

yes, im freaking stuck up.
sue me!

emo

im freaking emo

shit.

Chinese New Year HUH...??

something is going seriously wrong to me in 2010..
very wrong..

so..
i have a few pursuers at the same time...
it may not be ABNORMAL to have someone going after you,
BUT
it is freaking weird
COZ
all of them are not CHINESE..!!
duhhhh..
and they all happen to come after me at the same time..
during CNY,
within one week!!

GOSH~
sumthing must be relly wrong..
and it happened during CNY summore.. CNY!!
imagine ppl asking u out for dinner during CNY!!!

WEIRD dou bei..

so..
one of them is MALAY and another one is INDIAN..
gosh..
yea, u can call me racist..
I AM RACIST~
geeezzz..
do i look like im interested in inter-racial relationship?
NO, i dont.

ok, i find this very mean
but tat's just me and all i can be is just me, I, myself.

the malay guy get to know me through facebook
yeah u will probably be asking why did i add him in the first place,
and
yes, im freaking regret now
i added him bcoz my frens added him too, so i thought we have met b4 or etc etc..
he even added me in msn..
and im those kind of ppl tat is not in the habit of rejecting "known" ppl..
we didnt talk until last 2 days when he started to chat with me through facebook
at first he was just asking bout my plan for CNY,
then he started to ask me out saying tat he wanna ask me out for dinner..
i was like =________=' wad?
since i dun even remember anything bout him of course i will say NO to him,
his reply was tat i shudnt get him wrong coz he just wanna make new frens.
Ok, but im still not gonna go out wif a stranger .__________.
the next day,
he saw me on9 in msn
the he said this "hey, its me, the guy tat asked u out yday but u rejected me.. haha.."
duhhh.. wad am i suppose to reply?
then he said "how am i suppose to ask a cute girl like u for a date? i've been single for so long..."
jesus christ! @___@

i cant think of anyway to reply him,
so the simplest way is to IGNORE and continue my AOE game.

NIGHTMARE!

and another indian guy... OMG.. this is the crappiest thing i've ever met.
i feel like banging myself to the wall.
he used to be my classmate since Alevel, but he failed last year and he is resitting the exam..
so we know each other for 4 years edi..

lately he has been acting weird towards me,
but i tot maybe im just a lil bit sensitive..
he has been chatting wif me about randon stuff through facebook chat
so i tot probably he wanna get some notes from me..
but i never see him asking bout notes, usually he will just ask "wad r u doing now..?"

LAME.

one fine day, he start flirting wif me..
GOSH.
start talking bout gals to me,
saying that im the type that he is looking for
and
i have a hot body and he likes to see me wearing mini skirt? (WTF~ )
this sound so perverted...
he said he likes gals wif some "flesh"..
he said he likes to see me dress sexily...( wtf.. i only wear t-shirt+jeans to college ok?)
and alot other stuff which i cant remember and i dun wanna remember..
i almost faint when he start typing this kind of stuff..
is so OBSCENE...

i have no idea how to reply him, is freaking awkward kind of situation..
duhhhh..
so i just said im a gud gal, so dun flirt wif me la..
but i tink this in a way "provoked" him
he went even further to say tat i look like a typical bad gal tat is his type..
Grrr~ wtf is wrong wif these ppl..
he keep asking me wats the criteria to be my bf so tat he can be one...
i was like wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf~ @_@
he keep emphasising that he is very strong and he can definitely fit to be my bf..
DUHHHH!!!
LOOK AT JAY, he is my only boy and u r in no way better than him!
cis!

I've oledi put in my fb + msn for the past few weeks, indicating that I have someone in my mind, my cutie Jay..
are they blind or sumthing huh?
wtf~

then keep asking me "so how? wanna go out wif me? can i date you?"

uhhhh.. they relly get on my nerve..

then out of a sudden send me msg "gong xi fa cai hottie..! wanna go out?"

!@$#%$^%^&%@!#!@#@$#@$#$#@$@#!$!@#%$%^$^%&%^&

and the most ridiculous part that i forgot to mention in the first place is that HE HAS A GF! wtf.. and his GF is my classmate!
GOSH.. wad on earth is wrong wif this ppl?!
i told him tat his gf will be mad if she knws wad he did,
he said IS OK.. both of u oso equally hot, i like both equally..

t(t-.-t) go 撞墙 la!

then keep saying, "see u 2moro in college"
this is very scary coz god knows wad is he going to do to me when he sees me.
im thinking whether he stalk me or sumthing since he always see me in class and library yet i din notice bout his existence at all.

and all this happens only after i start posting stuff bout Jay in fb and msn,
this is the my boy's special effect huh?


i need to pray pray at temple,
alot of "broken" 桃花 this year...

background music *somebody save me*